A scholarly article by BMC Psychiatry focusing on the effectiveness of interventions targeting the stigma of mental illness supports the fact that more knowledge on the topics of mental illness have proven to be a success in reducing the rate of stigma and segregation, enhancing a change of behavior in the newly knowledgeable individuals and creating healthy relationships between sufferers and the society as a result.

My experiences in life with stigma and certain individual’s options on my diagnoses have bruised me to the bone year in and out but each day comes with a new layer of strength that heals these wounds. Some have said that psychiatry was not an effective way to deal with “whatever it was that was wrong with me”, what nerve they had and still have to force sell me their opinion on what they deem a mental illness. Others have suggested to “perhaps reach out to God and He will heal you”, for someone like me, it’s not that easy. Most have even said “snap out of it”, for John’s sake!

A few have told me I was possessed and that I was dealt the wrong hand by some demonic figure which I had to fight and stop with herbal remedies. I was born and raised into a family that put God first before anything, prayed timeously and praised continuously to this day. Me on the other hand, the black sheep of the family, I often struggle finding my place in the world of religion. Yes, I believe there is a higher power but my nature of questioning and analyzing tends to lead me astray.

It was easier for me to accept I had mental illness and that it would be a part of me for the rest of my life than it was for my family. They strongly believed it was a mere passing phase and some sort of teenage stunt, if one would prefer to say so. A part of me still believes they thought praying it away would revert me to the way I used to be before my diagnoses. 

A few weeks ago, I was having lunch with a friend and we were joined by a colleague we previously worked with. Now what this guy said to me after a few drinks literally dropped my jaw halfway the ground. The topic, of course, eventually lead to mental illness as he asked about my semi-colon tattoo on my left wrist and I went on to explain the reason I had it and all that jazz. So, Gary (let’s just call him that) mentions how his mother was on the same meds I am on.

He goes on to explain how he always questioned her psychiatrist who couldn’t answer any questions regarding the origins of Bipolar disorder, how sure she was the meds would work, how sure she was about the chemical imbalances in the brain as scientists could only prove so little etcetera. His conclusion was that his mother and anyone else who suffered from mental illness did not suffer from mental illness but more something related to some holy war, if I could put it that way.

It is true, however, that some people are blindsided such as Gary is when it comes to facts of this nature merely because they aren’t the ones who are experiencing the day to day struggles. Gary believes, like Evangelists and Born Again Christians that praying can solve mental illness. I’m certain almost every knowledgeable person who’s taken the time to dedicate their spare time to a few articles relating mental conditions or sufferers will strongly disagree with this fact.

A diagnosis related to a chemical imbalance in the brain could be a result of an unfortunate event in one’s life, a genetic history of the condition in the family, it can be developed overtime or one can be born with it for no apparent reason. The accurate causes of most mental illness are still not known. Mental illness is not a result of an individual’s personal weakness nor is it a matter which can be dealt with in participatory hypotheses contemplated by a group of theorists.

Mental illness is, rather, a day to day struggle where you know not what to expect. What will the day at the office bring should your anxiety decide to take control of the day? What type of emotion will the image in the HEAT magazine of that skinny model evoke once your self-esteem decides to suddenly remind you you’ve got serious problems? Will your thoughts ever stop racing? Cant’ you just focus, for once?

At most these bizarre emotions occur at a tremendously abnormal rate requiring expert help. Psychiatry together with psychotherapy have proven to be successful in the ongoing recovery of most patients. I am not, however, disputing the fact that religion and one’s beliefs could help lighten the weight a patient and his family must carry by burdening the higher power therefore and trusting Him to help lighten the situation.

You’re probably wondering “Who on earth are you coming with such statements”?

I’m Sharon Makgare and I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type 1, Borderline Personality Disorder and Temporal Lobe Epilepsy at the age of 17. The past 8 years have literally been unbelievably erratic it’s incredible for me to fathom I’ve made it thus far at times. My constant hospitalizations drifted me apart from most. For a few years I was emotionally separated from my family. I was lonely for a good period of those years.

At most I’d be hospitalized 3 times in a year. Each hospitalization being 21 days. The mental institution was my home. I had lost faith in life, relationships, art, everything I cared for. I had lost myself to an illusion, a peculiar misty facade; until recently. The help received from my medication and psychotherapy, I realized, is not enough to help me recover. I need to help myself and stop wallowing and whimpering.

My passion for my beliefs and hopes for myself and others like myself drove me to start this blog. I believe we can do it. Whether we’re downright low or sky high, we can fight and stand up for our rights. Together we can fight the stigma and show the world what we’re made of. We may be different from the rest because of our conditions, but this is partly because we’re more resilient than the rest.

I’m currently an employee in the Financial Industry Sector. I’ve been in the field for almost two years to date. I live with my life partner and no, we haven’t any children yet. He’s been my pillar through my sufferings in all honesty, I didn’t know support until I met him.

“Why should I read this blog?”, Is most probably your next thought

Well, you don’t have to read this blog unless you’re interested in mental health topics and still have that little voice in you murmuring “I’ve still got a lot fight left in me”, as Rachel Platten puts it, to say the least. This blog focuses on mental health and how to formulate and get around to living the closest, as possible, lifestyle you’ve always wanted to lead but felt hindered by your condition, surroundings or whatsoever through your recovery.

This is home to lonely souls who need encouragement every now and then. A confessional for those of you who’d love to share your experiences and opinions. A safe environment where judgments will not be accepted under any circumstances. This is my little room of shared knowledge and ongoing research for the purposes of educating and comforting myself and my readers on a regular basis.

Anyone is welcome here. This blog is not subject to a specific race, group of individuals, victims, rescuers, or persecutors. There aren’t exclusions here as we all support one another and can relate to most situations at the end of the day.

Should I Get Involved?

My key objective is to get you involved because there’s nothing worse than having a concern or problem that you haven’t a clue how to tackle, let alone an opinion which could’ve added some fruitfulness to that bland fruit salad. For this reason, I’ve set up various ways for you to do so.

Your responses are well appreciated. I do encourage you to get involved as it will appetize our brain cells every now and then. Of course, disagreements are encouraged, we all learn something new daily so please fear not to disagree.

The comments section:

This section is for you to share your comments on posts, share and recommend the posts if you may, share your experiences, concerns and opinions.

Guest Posting:

Should you wish to share your story with us, please do drop me a mail at sharon@acolourfulmind.com, rest assured I will get to it as soon as I can.

Did I miss something?

Should you have any further questions, suggestions, or concerns that you would prefer to keep private, contact can be made at sharon@acolourfulmind.com, again, I will get to it as soon as I can.

A piece inspired by Friedrich Nietzsche

The chaos we bear within gives us the freedom to express ourselves selflessly without second thought

The hardships we have submitted our souls to have sharpened our senses

But because the chaos endured unraveled new avenues buried in our subconscious minds,

We continue to sculpt our beautiful stars which will dance on timeously for as long as one can remember

-Sharon